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I need to stop reading the comments--

I have a bad habit of reading the comments on a drama I'm watching-- and when I do that, I sometimes lose interest because of other people's comments on it.

I really need to stop doing that.

Especially if I've been enjoying the drama up until the point when someone makes a comment about this character or that character.

It isn't about what others think about the drama really, it should be about if I am. If I let other people's comments color my opinion of something, is it really my opinion making me continue watching or not?

Probably not.

I wish there was a way that I could block comments on other websites, like I can on YouTube. Alas, I have to rely on my own self control-- and when it comes to reading through comments, I have very little of that.

I should finish Cain and Able regardless, Yamada Ryosuke did a pretty good job so far, after all!

Spring is Coming

I used to love winter-- or should I say, I love snow? But considering the outright absence of that recently... I think I'm more than ready for the spring. Strangely enough, I'm even ready for summer-- I would rather sweat right now than freeze. And my toes are constantly cold, even when I'm wearing socks and shoes.

Bring on the sun! Bring on open windows through the night!

This February has been strange though-- there have been a couple of days in the 70s even, before it goes back down into the 30s. And this weekend, that aforementioned snow could actually show up. Of course, this is just a meteorological prediction, and they're only right half the time. Those aren't good odds... but they're not bad either.

We'll see what happens.

Once spring hits though, I think I'll rewatch Natsume Yuujinchou. That series just screams that soft spring feel to me. The warmth of early summer. That, and they'll come back for another season this year-- I can't wait!

But I have to, much like I have to wait for spring.

But I'm good at waiting.

Pulled in all directions

Do you ever get that feeling, that while you know what you want to do, that you're being pulled in all directions because there are just so many things that you want to do? I don't know if it's because it's still the start of the year, or if it's because it's winter... but there are so many things I want to do. And I can't seem to focus on a single one.

There aren't very dramas that I feel like I connect with on an emotional level over a level where I'm simply entertained by it. There aren't very many dramas where I feel like the main character feels how I feel so accurately. In fact, I can probably say that there's really only one.

The way Ikuta Toma's character Kodaira Jotaro feels in 遅咲きのヒマワリ~ボクの人生、リニューアル~ fits how I feel perfectly. That sense of not wanting to be a disappointment, and not wanting to just stick to part time jobs and move on, but feeling kind of aimless and not sure how to carry out anything. Not sure how to be someone who can help, and who has a purpose. If there was ever a drama that I just connected to completely, it's this one.

But what was important was its theme of hope, and that you need to just keep on.

I can do this.

I will do this.

And everyone should watch 遅咲きのヒマワリ~ボクの人生、リニューアル~ at least once.

Also, happy birthday to Kame!! <3

The secret virtue of film cameras

I didn't really think about this when I was buying my camera-- but there's a hidden benefit to buying a camera that takes film:

You have to actually be patient.

With a film camera you don't get that instant gratification of being able to look at the picture you just took. And if you want to get good pictures, you can't just hurry through the roll so you can get it developed and see how they turned out.

I'm a patient person to start with, but now I guess I'm going to get even more patient.

Camera~

I finally did it-- purchased the camera I was looking at. Within the next week I will have a refurbished Contax TVS ii!! I'm really excited to try out new things with it, and learn how to take pictures with a film camera. I don't really count those disposable ones I used to use all the time, though I suppose even those were practice for this step.

People keep talking about how they're "bringing back film", but I don't think it was really gone in the first place. There are a lot of people who love to take pictures that way still, and then never disappeared. A lot of people, too, like me, who are remembering what they loved about old photos.

My brother wanted to make sure I wasn't planning to use it as an accessory, and that I actually planned to take pictures with it. I've reassured him of my intentions-- and then 10 rolls of Kodak 400 certainly help with that too. Can't wait to take my first few pictures and see what this camera is capable of in my hands!

Not that iPhone pictures are terrible, either. ;) It's so weird, I feel like I should be able to get to South Korea again with just a quick subway ride-- but it's much further than that.

Ch-ch-ch-changes--

Planning to move is, all at once, both frightening and exhilarating. It takes time and careful thought, to make sure everything is in order. You want things to be perfect, even though they won't always be. And I know this.

There's a lot to be done, between now and September, but I can do it. I'm capable of staying on top of things, but sometimes I just need the reminder-- we all do.

That's all this is.

A reminder to myself that I've got this. I can do this. There's nothing to fear.

<3

The Fantastic Deer-Man

Oh my goodness, I might possibly have a new favorite Japanese drama... if it isn't my new favorite, it's at least really, really close to being it-- given that I marathon'd it in two days (it was only 10 episodes though).

鹿男あをによし (Shikaotoko Aoniyoshi) was both hilarious, heartwarming, completely unrealistic, but also interestingly historic. With a dose of mythology.

I really loved all the actors and actresses in it, and I can't usually say that about a drama! It's one I can see myself watching again somewhere down the line. I already want to make other people watch it so they can be as amused as I was. I might be on a little bit of a kick, but Hiroshi Tamaki is just so handsome!

To anyone out there actually reading this, who wants an amusing drama that doesn't require TOO much thought? Watch this!!

Analog

As much as I love the ease of using my phone and digital cameras to take pictures-- and the fact that I can simply delete something that doesn't turn out-- I think I'm finally ready to take my next step. It's not a decision made after a few moments of thought, but after years of thinking about it. It might seem terribly hipster of me, but I'm finally going analog-- I'm going to shoot film.

For me, the memories seem even more special when you have the photo to hold like that, shot by film. It doesn't have to be that way for everyone, but it reminds me of the boxes full of photos that my mother still has. The way the photos feel and smell, and even the sharp poky corners. I love photo albums, and even the faded, orange-ish date stamps on the bottom corners of a picture.

For me, this is the right choice. And in taking the time to think and frame a shot, I think the memory will mean more to me. I won't just thing "if this doesn't turn out, I can just get rid of it."

It's good to have a lot of ways to capture our memories.

One Week - Homesick



I miss the apartment I rented in Sumida. I miss the cute wall decals, and the water heater I could turn up easily whenever I wanted to. I also really, really miss dinners from 7-11, and Choya plum sake.

Someday soon I want to go back. I would love to take classes to learn how to make Japanese style pastries. I want to go see a sumo match live-- I loved watching it from television, but this would make it more real.

Sometimes it's strange, but you can feel homesick for a place you've only spent a week in. I know I sure do.

A Return.

It's been a while, and I've gone through a number of different platforms, but in the end I wind up back here on LiveJournal. I think because it was the first journaling type platform I used, and I couldn't get used to the format of other sites. The hiatus was a couple of years long and there have been a lot of changes-- for one, this is a new journal-- but it feels good to be back.

Even if no one reads this, it's nice to have a place to think over things and put them in words. It's good to have time to turn situations over in your head, both the good things and the bad things. So that's what this will be for, so I have a place to unload and just-- think.

And, sometimes, to just post some pretty pictures! This one is from my trip in November to Tokyo. Can't wait to go back, I miss Sumida!